THEY'RE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD

In American football, you go to Disney World when you win the Super Bowl. In English football, you go to Disney World when nothing else fits the schedule.

Completing three dates for the club's summer 2011 U.S. tour, Newcastle United has announced a Saturday, July 23 match against Orlando City, a United Soccer Leagues Pro team, in Orlando, Fla. USL Pro is the third division of American soccer, and the average weather forecast for late July in Orlando is 92 degrees (33 Celsius) with 85 percent humidity. So, to put it in English terms, Newcastle will be playing Cheltenham in a blast furnace. 

OK, perhaps that's unfair. We're still thrilled Newcastle United is coming to America. We know of one transplanted Geordie in Miami who is probably being peeled off a ceiling somewhere right now. And if you've got kids to bring along, Mickey Mouse is now at your service. But, in soccer terms, this date does pale somewhat next to MLS competition in Kansas City three days earlier and Columbus three days later. To quote my significant other, "Don't even think about it." May require some bargaining.

Anyway, that's the tour, and we'll see you in Kansas.