Letting Joey Barton have a Twitter account is like letting Bart Simpson have a flamethrower. We saw the result yesterday, as Newcastle United prepared to wield some firepower of its own in the transfer market.
Everyone except the English press is confirming that Lille midfielder Yohan Cabaye has agreed to come to Newcastle. Lille manager Rudi Garcia told French television's Canal+ that Cabaye announced his decision to his teammates prior to Lille's season-ending 3-2 victory over Rennes in Ligue 1 Sunday. Posters on Lille message boards say reports from the French radio network RMC are setting Cabaye's Newcastle wage at a hefty €400,000 per month - which, if true, would work out to more than £80,000 ($130,000) a week. Meanwhile, the French sports daily L'Equipe - as reliable a source as exists in European sports journalism - reported in a brief that star Lille striker Gervinho will meet next week with NUFC officials about a possible move to Tyneside.
The developments didn't do Barton any favors in light of his tweets earlier Sunday. @Joey7Barton went live about his contract impasse on Twitter around noon in England, with four transmissions that strung together read thusly: "I will tell all when the time is right, basically they want a younger, better, cheaper player............cant blame Mike and Derek can you? / ......slight problem is, they dont want to spend any money or pay any wages. Its genius really ha ha / I am an employee so have to be careful here. Everyone knows i'd love to stay, i get on with Pardew fine and are dressing room is 1st class.. / if am not offered a new contract, my hands are tied. I will continue to do everything in my power to bring a trophy to St James next season."
If this is Barton's idea of careful we can be glad he didn't grow up to be a surgeon. There isn't any ink on any contracts yet, so he could still be vindicated, and anyone who's been a fan through the Mike Ashley era is entitled to skepticism. But Newcastle United is drawing a lot of interest from highly sought-after transfer targets for a club that doesn't want to spend any money or pay any wages. Tweets don't go away, so if the £80K salary figure for Cabaye materializes, Barton's training table is going to feature a heavy helping of crow. Later in the day Barton tweeted, "Cabaye = happy days.........keep spending. Teams win trophies not individuals tweeps". It's hard to tell if that was celebration or backpedaling or sarcasm.
Which is the problem with Twitter. All the emoticons in the world can't compensate for actual words emerging from an actual mouth with accompanying inflections and gestures. It's no place for a public figure who's already complicated to understand. Regardless of what side you're on in the Barton-NUFC contract saga, it's hard to think @Joey7Barton is helping Joey Barton, the human.
On the contrary, @Joey7Barton came off yesterday like someone who's feeling heat from a coveted phenom across the channel playing his position and wearing his number. I don't want to believe the real Joey Barton feels heat from anyone. That's not the way he plays, and we can pray that's not the way he is. So please, wor Joey - drop the Twitter and slowly back away. At least until we see whether the club you'll be playing for next year is turning the same new leaf you did this year.