NEWCASTLE NEEDS A NEW OWNER. HOW ABOUT THIS GUY?

During this long international break and holiday weekend, I've been moping about Newcastle United's summer transfer failure, and the soul-withering balance-sheet-centered management mentality it laid more bare than ever at the club. Well, as my dad once told me, if you don't like it, change it. So I've been trying to figure out some kind of action fans might take to help free Newcastle from the cheap velour handcuffs of its management.

I thought about using the blog to promote some sort of boycott. But it wouldn't achieve anything with an owner who'd probably be glad to unload the club if he could profit one British pound off the sale, having tried and failed at least twice; a fan boycott would mostly hurt the players and coaches while sacrificing whatever fun is left in supporting the team. Then I thought about using the blog to promote a fan takeover of the club. But I'm already a shareholder in a professional football club owned by its supporters, and while the Green Bay Packers are successful with that model, the key element is a huge national fan base that's had almost a century of mostly winning seasons to develop since the first stock sale in 1923. Achieving the same thing in one swoop, in this economy and without the competitive protections provided by the NFL, is a fantasy at best.

Newcastle simply needs a new owner, someone who's richer than Mike Ashley and willing to expend cash on a player for purposes aside from future resale value. According to Forbes, Ashley is the 651st-richest human in the world. That leaves 650 candidates, some of whom may not occur to Ashley as potential buyers, and might be persuadable if approached directly by their potential future customers, i.e., the fans. In my agony the past several days I've been perusing that list of 650 rich people. Here's the first name that jumped out at me.

Nearly 200 spots and more than half a billion dollars above Ashley on Forbes' roster is Mark Cuban, entrepreneurial savant and owner of the National Basketball Association's reigning champions, the Dallas Mavericks. As a club owner, Cuban is everything Ashley isn't: involved, passionate, generous, and vocal, sometimes to a fault: he rides the referees so relentlessly from his courtside seat his own players have told him to shut up. After more than a million dollars in league fines, Cuban has mellowed somewhat recently. But his biggest star, Dirk Nowitzki, says, "He’s still a huge fan. Once the ball goes up, he’ s still in it with all his heart."

That alone would be enough to qualify him above Ashley in my book. But there are other reasons Cuban might be a fit for Newcastle United, as laid out in the following open letter I've drafted to him.

Dear Mr. Cuban,

The best-supported team in the best league in the most popular sport in the world needs a new owner. Might you be interested?

You recently tried and failed to buy the Chicago Cubs. The Newcastle United Football Club of soccer's English Premier League is often likened to the Cubs, and for good reason. Despite a trophy shelf that's gathered decades of dust, Newcastle fills its large stadium regularly with fans who are England's loudest and most dedicated, as is borne out by simple observation and detailed statistical study. Even NBA junkie Bill Simmons has noted Newcastle's remarkable support, after conducting an ESPN.com survey to help him choose a Premier League team and receiving more responses backing Newcastle than any other club.

Yet Newcastle United offers an even more attractive investment than the Cubs in important respects. The asking price for the club would likely be around $400 million, less than half what you bid for the Cubs. Newcastle's stadium, St. James' Park, is larger than Wrigley Field and not in need of major renovation. On the field, unlike the Cubs, Newcastle United has the makings of a contending team in place, including a capable manager and sharp-eyed scouting operation that consistently identify and develop young players with world-class potential. Unfortunately, such players are re-sold upon maturity for short-term profit without reinvestment due to ownership that lacks the financial and intestinal wherewithal necessary to challenge at soccer's top level. The current owner has gone into hiding, appears regretful of having bought the club and has tried several times to sell it, without success. That's where you come in.

Perhaps, like many Americans, you're not much of a soccer fan. But it's growing in U.S. popularity, and you can now find Premier League soccer on American television on weekend mornings - you might want to give it a peek and see how exciting it can be. Moreover, in European soccer you wouldn't have to cope with competitive artificialities such as salary ceilings and revenue sharing that must offend your free-market, libertarian sensibilities. As Newcastle United's owner you'd be taking on the ultimate challenge in professional sports ownership, in a world where only the strongest and shrewdest survive - a world in which you've proved you can excel.

I'm a Cubs fan whose passion once was baseball. Then I discovered Newcastle United, and fell so profoundly I started this site to spread the word to fellow Americans. I urge you to look toward Newcastle for your next big acquisition. You'll be glad baseball was too chicken to let you have a team.

Sincerely,

Bob, co-CEO, I Wish I Was A Geordie

So there you have it. Mark Cuban's on Twitter as @mcuban and I'm tweeting this at him the next time I can tell he's looking. Join me if you feel like doing something other than sitting around wishing you supported a team that could afford to fill the most revered shirt in soccer. It's a longshot. But there's nothing to lose, and 649 other names on that list.

Comments

[Rob]

When Mike Ashley was looking to sell the club a few years ago, Mark Cuban's name was linked in the press, but nothing came of it.

As our club is prone to regular bouts of insanity, I think our owner needs a cool head and a sense of detachment from the hysteria. From your description, it doesn't sound like Mr Cuban fits the bill.

[Doug]

Good letter Bob. Hopefully Mark sees it. I think he'd be a great owner for Newcastle.