It wouldn't be a year in the life of Newcastle United without some manic highs and depressing lows, would it?
In 2013, Newcastle might have outdone itself, subjecting us to a free fall toward — although ultimately not reaching — relegation, before treating us to a feelgood revival. The captain tried to flee to Argentina, the owner went on a spending spree in France, John Carver tried to fight a Wigan player, Hatem Ben Arfa gained, then lost, then gained a few pounds, everyone's favorite drunk uncle Joe Kinnear suddenly reappeared as director of football, Yohan Cabaye became Yohan Kebab and begged to leave for London, Alan Pardew rediscovered his mojo ... the makings for a wacky sitcom are in there somewhere.
To commemorate the roller-coaster year, we're unveiling our bests and worsts of 2013. Without further adieu ...
Best player
Tom: Yoan Gouffran
Just about all of this season's stars also carry warts from last season's calamity. Gouffran, whose 10 goals tied for the club lead in the calendar year (with Loic Remy and Papiss Cissé), was at least steady on a floundering team, before emerging more in the current campaign.
Bob: Tim Krul
A host of Newcastle players have been in better form at one time or another in 2013 than Krul. But no one has been as good throughout. His scatter-shot distribution and indiscriminate launches can drive goalkeeping connoisseurs to rend their garments. But as a pure shot-shopper he's one of the world's best, and he rarely yields a soft goal. Without him we'd all be awaiting upcoming matches with Doncaster and Barnsley.
Matt: Yoan Gouffran
Unlike some of the other potential candidates, Gouffran never really has a bad game. He works hard, always makes himself an option on the counterattack, and he'll probably end up with double-digit goals this season, despite never starting a match as a striker. Oh, and he also scored the goal that ensured Newcastle's Premier League survival. Not bad for a total afterthought among the club's January transfers.
Phil: Fabricio Coloccini
Our best players all had demerits. I chose the curly-haired captain because, while his off-field problems are difficult to ignore, when he was on the field, he was our best player. Quite simply, our back four is better when he is around.
Worst player
Tom: Steven Taylor
Taylor's center back partnership with Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa was disastrous in the closing months of last season, and his only contributions this season have been a moronic red card in the opener and a racially insensitive tweet.
Bob: Papiss Cissé
It pains me to give this anti-honor to such a good and in some ways unfortunate gentleman. But with even an average chance-converter in Cissé's spot last season, Newcastle would've finished in or near the top half and Joe Kinnear would still be spouting his delusions on a pub stool instead of a director's seat.
Matt: Steven Taylor
He's been around the Newcastle United first team for 10 years, yet he still makes the same undisciplined mistakes he did as a kid. And did I mention his completely brain-dead tweet? It's time to think about Curtis Good or Remie Streete as fourth-choice center back options.
Phil: Haris Vuckic
Signed in 2009 and billed as the "next great thing," Vuckic failed to make any impact in 2013, appearing in just two games — in the Carling Cup. We've seen our table neighbors all bring youth players through into the first team (Barkley, Sterling, Townsend, etc). In the meantime, Vuckic attempts to stay fit for Rotherham.
Best match
Tom: Nov. 2: 2-0 vs. Chelsea
This was the game that breathed life into Newcastle's season. Finally, the manager and players seemed to arrive at a moment of realization in terms of how the current team could — and should, based on its personnel — play.
Bob: Dec. 7: 1-0 at Manchester United
Something that hasn't been done in 41 years has to be the best match in this year. Manchester United was mired in a difficult managerial transition and without Wayne Rooney. But it was still Old Trafford, and note: Man U has won 6 of 7 since.
Matt: Dec. 21: 3-0 vs. Crystal Palace
How often have we been able to watch Newcastle simply roll through an inferior opponent in convincing fashion? While other matches may have been more meaningful, I personally got a great deal of satisfaction from watching this team earn a comfortable, stress-free win for once.
Phil: Dec. 7: 1-0 at Manchester United
Anytime you boss the most popular team in the world on their turf and come away with the victory seems like the best match of the year to me. The 1-0 victory was as dominant as any victory we had this season, in front of a traveling section that refused to leave at full time.
Worst match
Tom: April 27: 0-6 vs. Liverpool
The lack of effort and composure was incredible, considering how the club was fighting for its Premier League survival.
Bob: April 14: 0-3 vs. Sunderland
Please. It made Tax Day seem like a relief.
Matt: April 27: 0-6 vs. Liverpool
All of the players and coaches involved should have donated their paychecks that week to charity. They certainly didn't do anything to earn them.
Phil: April 27: 0-6 vs. Liverpool
I watched this match with a friend in Brooklyn. The look he gave me at full time can only be described as the same look my parents must have received during my college years: pity. The total collapse was the first time it looked like Newcastle might be relegated.
Pardew's best match
Tom: Nov. 2: 2-0 vs. Chelsea
Instead of parking the bus, Pards employed a 4-4-2 formation that wasn't the dull variety that causes fans to groan. With Shola Ameobi dropping into the midfield and releasing Loic Remy up top, Pardew kick started Newcastle's season.
Bob: Nov. 2: 2-0 vs. Chelsea
I'm agreeing with my co-blogger Tom on this one, but for an additional reason: This was Sissoko's coming-out party in front of Debuchy on the right. At the time it was an experiment. Now Newcastle has one of the most dangerous right thoroughfares in the league.
Matt: Dec. 7: 1-0 vs. Manchester United
Putting the historic significance of the win aside, Pardew went against stereotype, and it paid off. At Old Trafford, he went with a 3-man central midfield, outpossessed the Red Devils, and generally controlled the balance of play. Not bad for a staid English long-ball merchant hopelessly wedded to the 4-4-2.
Phil: Nov. 2: 2-0 vs. Chelsea
The birth of the "rope-a-dope" strategy saw United propel into European consideration. It was also the first match this season our manager looked as if he could hang tactically with the top of the league.
Pardew's worst match
Tom: April 14: 0-3 vs. Sunderland
Besides playing Jonas Gutierrez at left back, Pardew failed to get his team up for the occasion. I generally blame players for a lack of motivation, but Pardew has to shoulder some blame given how deflated his team looked in a derby.
Bob: April 14: 0-3 vs. Sunderland
We have a running debate on the blog about the role of managers in motivating teams. But a manager should at least make sure his players aren't visibly unmotivated, not least of all when battling relegation, at home, in one of the world's most venerated derbies.
Matt: April 27: 0-6 vs. Liverpool
Do I really need to say anything else after my earlier comments about this match? Newcastle was an unprepared, undisciplined mess against a Liverpool side which didn't even have Luis Suárez available. After losing in the derby two weeks earlier, you would have expected Pardew to light a fire under the players the next time Newcastle walked into St. James' Park. Instead, the home fans were treated to this debacle.
Phil: Jan. 19: 1-2 vs. Reading
The match against the soon-to-be relegated Reading showed the worst of both Newcastle’s complacency and Pardew’s conservative tactics. A free-kick goal from Yohan Cabaye was our only tally in 45 minutes that should have yielded many, many goals. In the second half, we let someone named Adam Le Fondre come into the match and score twice in a 10-minute span.
Best individual performance
Tom: Moussa Sissoko, vs. Chelsea (Feb. 2)
If Ashley Cole needed a reminder that he's lost a step, Sissoko gave him one. Sissoko was all over the field in just his second game at Newcastle — after looking pretty darn good in his first one, too.
Bob: Tim Krul, at Tottenham (Nov. 10)
Debuchy, Sissoko, Cabaye and Remy have all turned in deserving outings. But no one on the club won a game as much on his own power as Krul did at White Hart Lane. Tottenham outshot Newcastle 30-8 (11-4 on target) and enjoyed 70 percent possession. Without Krul's acrobatics, Newcastle takes an Etihad-style whipping, and let's not think about what might've happened from there.
Matt: Mathieu Debuchy, vs. Arsenal (Dec. 29)
He covered practically every blade of grass on the right side of the field, clearing the ball off Tim Krul's line and nearly looping a header over Wojciech Szczesny's. Against the top team in the league, he still looked to get forward at every opportunity, while also dominating on the defensive side of the ball. Thoroughly deserved his Man of the Match award from Sky Sports, even though Newcastle lost.
Phil: Tim Krul, at Tottenham (Nov. 10)
Arguably one our most consistent performers, it was the Dutchman’s turn to shine at White Hart Lane. Krul left Spurs' players befuddled and their fans in awe. Newcastle sat back and welcomed the pressure, and Krul answered every test Tottemham threw at him.
Worst individual performance
Tom: Mathieu Debuchy, vs. Liverpool (April 27)
The red card was straight out of the Joey Barton playbook. Thankfully, Debuchy has more than redeemed himself this season.
Bob: Steven Taylor, at Manchester City (Aug. 19)
Has a role in two Man City goals, gets away with a blatant handball then cuts down Sergio Aguero with a backward roundhouse and gets sent off. That's pretty much the trifecta of poorness.
Matt: Mathieu Debuchy, vs. Manchester City (Aug. 19)
Constantly out of position and outpaced, Debuchy looked about as much like a World Cup-caliber player as I do. Proof that even veteran international players take time to settle in the Premier League.
Phil: Papiss Cissé, at Sunderland (Oct. 27)
Down a goal at half to our arch rivals, our No. 9 was introduced to provide a scoring threat against a team that had not won a Premier League match all season. The result? Zero shots on target, five turnovers, and the realization that the man who once scored 13 Premier League goals in half a season was beyond repair.
Best moment
Is there really any debate? We all agreed that Newcastle's Dec. 7 slaying of Manchester United at Old Trafford — and the scenes of the traveling Toon Army that followed — was the clear winner.
As Phil said, the post-game images of the visiting fans beamed back to the United States on NBC Sports Network showcased every reason to become a Newcastle fan, as painful as it might sometimes be.
Disagree with our choices? Post your Newcastle bests and worsts of 2013 below in the comments.
interesting that none of the europa matches got thought of... that first half at benfica was amazing, cisse could have had a hat-trick if the post was more friendly.
Posted by: Jaeger | 01/02/2014 at 12:44 PM
Lot of love for Gouffran. He's been in terrific poaching form and earned his place on merit, but he still has a make-weight look and feel about him. As for starting him up front, that's west brom, Cardiff (or worse) territory, not a team with European aspirations. Good wide option though. As for best player, we have two complete, bonafide world-class players in the squad in my opinion- Colo and Cabaye. Either would be my pick, along with an honourable mention to Williamson whose half-time intro against Everton ushered the season's upturn in form. Krul has been strong and Tiote the most improved on last year.
Worst player (of those that have played) - Cisse by a country mile. Even in his 20min end-of-game cameos we tend to concede, or at least wither going forward.
Best game- 2-0 Chelsea. A strategic win, unlike the previous season's surprise, inspirational, bonkers victory against Chelsea at SJP.
Worst match - Vs Man City, the opening game this season.
Best performance - Cabaye Vs Man U or Ben Arfa Vs Villa
Worst performance - Taylor Vs City, Cisse Vs just about anyone.
Most frustrating moment - Remy's late miss against Southampton.
Player I still don't completely know what he does but will take other's word for it - Sissoko
Posted by: geordiepat | 01/02/2014 at 01:59 PM
Geordiepat: Keep in mind these are for the calendar year of 2013, not just the first half of this season. Cabaye and Colo are better players than Gouffran, there's no argument there, but you have to also include the second half of last season. Colo was injured for a large chunk of that time and also tried to leave for Argentina, while Cabaye wasn't at his best and was pretty dismal when given the captaincy. It's a really tough category to choose, just because of how most of NUFC's best players performed in the second half of 2012-13. If we were choosing just based on the first half of this season, I'd go with Cabaye.
As for worst player, I think Cisse gets saved by his big goals in the second half of last season. I tend to be fairly critical of him, but I think he deserves some credit for those game winners.
Posted by: Tom | 01/02/2014 at 02:52 PM
Line up for Cardiff today:
Newcastle:(4-2-3-1): Rob Elliot; Davide Santon, Steven Taylor, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, Massadio Haidara; Cheick Tiote (c), Vurnon Anita; Hatem Ben Arfa, Moussa Sissoko, Yoan Gouffran; Papiss Cisse
Substitutes: Jak Alnwick, Paul Dummett, Mike Williamson, Sammy Ameobi, Gabriel Obertan, Shola Ameobi, Loic Remy
Posted by: MichiToon25 | 01/04/2014 at 08:48 AM