I Wish I Was A Geordie - The Blog of Newcastle United in the US

Newcastle 2013-14: The Show About Nothing

If you're a loyal reader of this blog, you've noticed our content has waned as Newcastle's once-promising season has faded into midtable meaninglessness.

That's partially due to personal matters that have eaten into our free time this year, but Newcastle's ghastly play over the past three months hasn't generated much motivation, either. And, at this point, what else is there to say?

Alan Pardew should be fired. The players are totally sapped of motivation and ideas. Mike Ashley is ultimately responsible for all of this.

So, there's really no sense in breaking down Newcastle's tepid performance against Arsenal. We all knew that was coming, didn't we? And opining on the club's rumored interest in midfielders Jack Colback and Jonjo Shelvey seems premature, given the way the last two transfer windows have played out.

We haven't given up on Newcastle — just this season. Hopefully the aftermath will provide some developments worthy of celebrating — or, at the very least, examining — rather than enduring.

On The Air: NUFC's Lack Of Direction

With a manager who should be fired, a squad full of players who won't be back in August, and a new managing director committed to finishing in the top 10 (though not in that soul-sucking Europa League), what's not to love about Newcastle at the moment? Tom, Phil, and Matt do their best to bring order to black-and-white chaos in the latest edition of the pod.

On the pitch, we strain to find something positive from three straight shellackings, wonder how admitted Premier League gambler Dan Gosling is allowed to play (and why the club would bother giving him a run at this point), and ponder the goalmouth ineptitude of Luuk de Jong. In the wake of Lee Charnley's appointment to the Derek Llambias role, we try to sketch out a way forward. Whose responsibility is it to pick the transfer targets? Why would any of those targets want to come to St. James' Park, anyway? With so many holes to be filled, will NUFC spend over £6 million on anyone?

Finally, we go over Charnley's statement and pick out our favorite nuggets of wisdom. Because there's nothing like trying to placate a dispirited, pessimistic fanbase with a statement that doesn't include words like "winning," "victory," or "success." Lots of talk about money, though. Hooray!

Listen to the podcast below or subscribe and rate on our iTunes page. We're also trying to set up a solution for Android users, so stay tuned!

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Pardew Strengthens Case For Firing

Let's be frank: Alan Pardew's job stinks. He is the only public-facing member of Newcastle United's braintrust. The club has an expectant fan base that wants attacking — and winning — soccer. And Mike Ashley doesn't give Pardew the financial support to realize those expectations.

Pardew has a relatively small squad to begin with, one that's been built through a thrifty, ill-conceived transfer plan. That squad is riddled with injuries at the moment, to the point that Pardew started Dan Gosling in the center of the midfield in yesterday's 4-0 thumping by a not-exactly-vintage Manchester United.

So, sure, Pardew is in a tough spot. But that shouldn't stop anyone from acknowledging that his performance since the end of January has been horrific.

To review: Newcastle has only scored in three of the 11 games since Ashley shipped Yohan Cabaye off to Paris. Pardew has repeatedly failed to devise any sort of tactical plan to generate consistent attacking pressure; Newcastle appears dumbfounded when it is asked to break down an opponent in the final third of the field. In that same 11-game stretch, Newcastle has been outscored 23-6 as Pardew's defense has crumbled. Pardew's only solution seems to be tossing on Hatem Ben Arfa to spark some life into an unimaginative team that looks low on both ideas and motivation.

And that's not even including Pardew's touchline idiocy.

This is no longer just a hard-luck stretch in the wake of Cabaye's departure; it's become a prolonged slump that Pardew appears incapable of ending. The same performance has played out time and time again over the past two months. And if overseeing a lifeless second half of a season — Newcastle has won four, lost 10 and drawn one in 2014 — qualifies Pardew to lead the summer rebuild that's coming, then Ashley is even more foolish than we thought.