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Lee Charnley tosses his copy of The Chronicle on his desk. He's not in the mood to read anything more about boycotts or protests.
He opens his top desk drawer and pulls out a thick, glossy sheet of paper. "Newcastle United corporate tactics" it says at the top. He scans the contents:
- Buy collection of foreign players who will excite Football Manager nerds
- Perform above average in season's first five months to establish club in upper half of overrated league and pacify fans with false hope
- Avoid prolonged commitments in cup competitions that overtax undermanned roster
- Sell any in-demand players in January transfer window to maximize profit and thwart potential Europa League qualification
- Slide through season's final five months and collect undeserved handout from Premier League
A smile creeps across Charnley's face. He places the paper back in the drawer. He picks up the phone to call his boss. Suddenly he feels like taking Mike Ashley up on that trip the casino after all.*
*The validity of this story cannot be confirmed by the authors of I Wish I Was a Geordie
Overrated league?
Posted by: pedro | 04/23/2015 at 03:53 PM
You're back! Bless you all.
Posted by: Barret Gosen | 04/26/2015 at 04:45 PM