Now Presenting ... Overreaction Theater

Welcome to Overreaction Theater. In this space, I will find comments about Newcastle United from various dark alleys of the Internet, and discuss whether or not they have any merit. Let’s start with the most common overreaction to the match against Southampton.

From the Chronicle ... 

 

Phil’s take: The argument can be made that, out of the starting XI that took the pitch against Southampton, Fabricio Coloccini was under the most pressure to perform. It wasn’t the best of displays for the Newcastle captain, who looked every bit the player that did not partake in a single match all preseason. The curly-haired center back faded badly as the game wore on. The two dangerous dribbling runs by Sadio Mane near the end of the match left the captain to pick up his Fruit of the Looms and nearly cost Newcastle the point. If the Saints attacker put one of the two chances into the net — as he should have — would there be the same good vibes around the opening performance? Probably not.

Look, you do not need fancy statistics to show that Colo had a bad game. It was a performance that did not silence one question about whether the 33-year old’s best days are behind him. However, it should be noted that it was just one game. After not playing a minute all preseason, no reasonable fan should have expected a spotless performance. Be concerned, but there is no reason yet to outright panic. As it stands, the center back pairing of the Captain and the Chancellor is still Newcastle’s top duo. And until either has a horrible run of form, and not just an isolated bad game, they should be given the majority of the minutes.

Panic Meter (5 being full-on panic):  

I’m willing to give Coloccini a run of games to develop his match sharpness back before I start to panic, but it is a bit concerning. 

From Twitter ...

Sounds crazy but I'd take Jose Enrique back. When fit he's well ahead of haidara and dummet. Thoughts? #nufc

— Nick Cahill (@nickcahill9) August 12, 2015

Phil’s take: It’s hilarious that after two seasons of being a Twitter All-Star, left back Massadio Haidara was absolutely pilloried for his performance against Southampton. Next to Coloccini, the 22-year-old left back — making his first career opening-day start for Newcastle — was the Newcastle player most filleted post-match.

This sort of overreaction can also be filed under the "it's just one game" analysis, and certainly there is no reason to suggest that the answer to the club's left back problems is a player who not only stormed out of Newcastle, but took jabs in the process. Never mind the cost of bringing him back, and the fact he hasn't played regularly for the last two seasons.

For more of a breakdown of Haidara's performance, do yourself a favor and read Robert L. Bishop’s piece over at Coming Home Newcastle. There is absolutely nothing else I can add to his tremendous "upon further review" piece. 

Panic Meter: 

Again, let's give Haidara a run of games. He is still just 22 years old. Let's hope his potential can turn into another "p" word: performances. 

Back to the Chronicle ... 

 

Phil’s take: Overreaction Theater isn’t just a place for negative comments! We love good positive hot takes as well. What a match for the Dutchman, and what a goal.

Wijnaldum is someone we can really start to get excited about. You couldn't have asked for much better of a debut from the Dutchman. "Gini" was a constant threat to the Southampton defense with his drive toward the net, completed 95 percent of his passes, and scored a highlight reel goal that should have been the game winner.

I'm going to rule it’s appropriate to "panic" positively about the new Newcastle No. 5. He looked like the type of player you can build a team around, and will demand opponents' attention. He's the first player in a black and white shirt since Yohan Cabaye that looks like a genuine star, and was rightly tipped by a couple on this blog to be Newcastle's Player of the Season.

Positive Panic Meter (excited face emojis):  

#LetsGetCarriedAway 

From I Wish I Was I Was A Geordie ...  (wait, what?)

 

Phil’s take: Matt, what are you saying? This is silly. Jack Colback is the backbone on which Newcastle builds its team. Ginger Pirlo sets the tempo for Newcastle on the field. He is the connection between the defense and the attackers. He collects the ball from the defense and distributes to the Sissokos and Wijnaldums. The 25 year-old gives the team balance. He pushes forward and tracks back. If I knew where on the Internet to find “distance covered”, I promise you Colback led the team.

Colback is the type of player who, if he does his job effectively, you won't hear his name. The 
dirty work he puts in the midfield will never show up on the scoresheet, but is vital for the team's collective success. And he even contributes goals and assists (four and six, respectively, last season). Not bad for someone who "only passes sideways." Colback is more than a recycler of possession, and in the last 10 minutes of the Southampton match, his diving block saved the match for Newcastle.

Panic Meter: Zero

So in conclusion, what he lacks in melatonin, he makes up for in football talent. And please never compare him to Danny Guthrie again. 

Looking forward to the next pod to crush you Stephen A. Smith style, Mr. Feltz.

Comments

[turd ferguson]

Emojis, reinforcing my new mancrush for Gini, and making a Colback skin joke? All I needed to make it through the day!

[Schteve's Freaky Deaky Dutch Guy]

Yeah I wouldn't use the term "Ginger Pirlo" to describe Colback...its a faulty comparison bordering on a fallacy. Its like calling a 1989 Pontiac Fiero a "Pocket Lamborghini" just because they both are mid engine cars.

Colback is an excellent deep lying midfielder, definitely not overrated and much better than Danny Guthrie...but he doesn't have the preternatural ball sense and superhuman touch that Pirlo has. Plus Pirlo has much better hair.

[Phil L]

Phil approves of this comment. Well done, Freaky Deaky

I went with the Ginger Pirlo because I like the nickname, but yea.. its not accurate. If you noticed I have a fascination with physical appearance and lack of ability to tan. Pirlo has infinitely better hair. Its like comparing Tom Brady to Gabby Obertan.