I Wish I Was A Geordie - The Blog of Newcastle United in the US

On the Air: Burn Books and Candy Cane Grams

Get in, losers, we're going podding. On today's episode, Tom, Phil, and Matt recap Sunday's 1-1 draw against Liverpool. Phil breaks down the stats on the solid defensive performance, then we single out some individual performances. Obviously, we all just have a lot of feelings when it comes to American hero (and, apparently, Olympic sprinter) DeAndre Yedlin. But what did we think about the Jonjo Shelvey/Mikel Merino partnership? Despite the assist on Sunday, will Shelvey be going in our burn book for splitting up Merino and Isaac Hayden?

Then we shift our focus to news of a potential Newcastle sale in the works. Is Amanda Staveley the club's savior in waiting, or just another life-ruiner in the Mike Ashley mold?

Finally, we each name our top three NUFC players on current form. Who in the squad gets more candy cane grams than Glen Coco? 

(OK, no more Mean Girls references. While we did record this on October 3rd, hence the jokes...this has been sufficiently awkward.)

iOS users, apologies that we're getting tons of inscrutable error messages as we try to put the show back on iTunes. However, for Android users or people with iPhones who don't mind downloading another app, we are available on both Stitcher and TuneIn. Thanks so much for your support!

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On the Air: Nile Ranger and the Milky White Twins

After a week off, the podcast is back! Join Tom, Phil, and Matt on a journey through Newcastle's last two matches and a look ahead at Sunday's tilt against Liverpool. Is anyone concerned about last weekend's defeat at Brighton? What changes can NUFC make with the players on hand? How, and should, Rafa find a place for Jonjo Shelvey in the starting XI? And after another agonizing miss from Joselu, we let Phil unleash his fury on the Spanish striker.

Then it's the moment you've all been waiting for: in our continuing look at the strangest moments in Mike Ashley's 10 years as Newcastle owner, Tom takes us back to the Toon's FA Cup loss to Brighton in January 2013. The match featured one of Alan Pardew's vintage cup squads, full of names you've totally forgotten by now...or wish you had.

iOS users, apologies that we're getting tons of inscrutable error messages as we try to put the show back on iTunes. However, for Android users or people with iPhones who don't mind downloading another app, we are available on both Stitcher and TuneIn. Thanks so much for your support!

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On the Air: Joe Gets Kicked in the Swingers

Kick back and relax with your beverage of choice, because podcast day is here once again! In today's episode, Miller Lite drinker Phil and muscadine sipper Matt take a look at the week that was for Newcastle United.

Sunday's 1-0 win at Swansea went down like a sweet summer wine for everyone at NUFC except poor Joselu, who definitely felt the effects of a rogue boot from the Swans' Renato Sanches in a...sensitive part of the anatomy. We push through the pain to rave about some excellent performances in a match that Newcastle definitely deserved to win, despite the grumblings of NBC's commentary team.

After that, we talk up the return of American hero DeAndre Yedlin before running through Phil's second-favorite segment, Do You Care? Learn more than you ever wanted to know about home haircutting and remember a player still on Newcastle's books who can afford to go to the barber twice a day for the rest of his life, Massadio Haïdara.

As always, we really appreciate everyone who listens to our shenanigans. Enjoy the show!

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On the Air: Geremi Scored A Goal Today

We now interrupt your international break for as much fun as can be had talking about Newcastle United these days. On this edition of the podcast, Tom, Phil, and Matt discuss yet another very quiet end of the transfer window thanks to Mike Ashley and company. Where does NUFC go from here? Does Rafa deserve any blame for what happened this summer?

Then, as befits a show where one person is holding a drink and another just came in from an evening out, we decide to go off the rails and do some reminiscing. What Ashley-era transfers and windows were the most hilarious? And what facts can Tom glean from the Wikipedia page of free kick "specialist," member of the world's slowest three-man midfield, and improbably still 38-year-old ex-Champions League winner Geremi?

Thanks so much for listening, and hopefully you'll have as much fun listening to this episode as we had while recording it!

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On the Air: Joe the Spaniard Leads the Line

Don't adjust your computer screen (though you probably will want to adjust the volume)...we have another podcast! On the second episode of the season, fashion guy Matt and US national team superfan Phil shout about Newcastle's last three matches and the upcoming close of the transfer window. Is "Joe the Spaniard," as Phil somewhat affectionately calls him, NUFC's best option up front? Who else impressed in Saturday's comfortable 3-0 win against West Ham? Does it matter that the Toon crashed out of yet another cup? And what to do about Alexander Mitrovic, who once again finds himself in trouble over an on-field incident?

Also in this episode: Phil debuts a new segment on the best of bad British commentary...because anyone suggesting 5'8" winger Christian Atsu as a lone striker deserves to be named and shamed.

Still working out the audio and iTunes issues as we get back into the swing of these podcasts, so we appreciate your patience and understanding in the meantime!

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On the Air: The Pod is Back in Town!

After a very long hiatus, we've decided to reboot the I Wish I Was A Geordie podcast for the 2017-18 season! Join Phil, Tom, and Matt as they applaud Atsu's attacks and shame Shelvey's stupidity in Sunday's season-opener against Tottenham.

After that, they'll dive into what to expect in the months ahead. How far up the table will the Toon finish? How much of a moron is Mike Ashley for his poor handling of the Rafa saga? And how annoying will the new NBC Sports cash grab be for Newcastle fans in the US?

Whether you're new to our podcast or a listener from way back when, welcome and enjoy!

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Shock: Football Manager Hired To Run Football Club

NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE, UK - In a move sending shock waves through the worlds of retailing and finance, Newcastle United Football Club, a football-themed marketing subsidiary of Sports Direct International, was spun off today into the business of actual football, under a manager with top-level experience in the field.

While the inner workings of Sports Direct are notoriously shrouded in secrecy, analysts believe the football costuming of the Newcastle United promotional team had become unconvincing to the public, undermining the company's sales mission.

"No one really believed these were football players who could perform football tricks such as completing passes and scoring goals," said Penelope Pinchpenny, investment specialist at London brokerage Howe Rich Arwee. "I think the CEO finally just threw up his hands and said, we may as well try the sport itself, and see what happens."

The rebrand will be rolled out Monday evening in a true-to-life "football match" against Leicester City, an outfit that has recently pulled off a similar move with stunning success.

"It will be interesting to see how the Newcastle unit performs with sport concepts like formations and strategy and whatnot," Pinchpenny said. "If it works they may decide to staff this arm of the company with real athletes, which would be a completely new direction."

NBC Report Of Brendan Rodgers To NUFC Makes Some Sense

US media are at least marginally less likely to run with rumors and speculation than their British counterparts. So it was jarring to hear an NBC commentator - albeit a London journalist - report Monday evening that Steve McClaren is under pressure to deliver better results for Newcastle United in the coming weeks, with Brendan Rodgers looming as a potential replacement.

The journalist was the Daily Mail's Neil Ashton, and the setting was NBC Sports Network's live transfer deadline show, a new experience for Americans who are have only recently begun paying enough attention to know what a transfer window is. Host Rebecca Lowe seemed taken aback by the speculation, returning to the subject later when Ashton raised Mark Hughes as a candidate to replace Roberto Martinez: "First Brendan Rodgers to Newcastle, now Mark Hughes to Everton!" But while Ashton's comments were devoid of sources, they seem to have a logical basis, particularly in the case of Rodgers.

It's amazing what fear can do to a miser. With the prospect of relegation torching a mega-million-pound hole in his iron pockets, Mike Ashley was finally motivated to invest in players for a return on the pitch rather than the balance sheet. "Biggest spenders Newcastle" flashed the graphic on NBC, like a dispatch from a parallel universe. If TV incentives existed for success in the Premier League and not just survival, Newcastle United might be run like a real football club.

But the opportunity to purchase safety has now passed. The only way out of danger now is to use the talent at hand. If the points don't come in the next few weeks, it would be almost surprising if Newcastle didn't swap at the top for the home stretch. Given Ashley's sudden willingness to spend, a name manager might now have interest. Bookmakers tipped Rodgers to Newcastle four months ago. Perhaps they saw this coming. All they had to do was what they do best: Follow the money.

On The Air: Slices of West Ham and Other Dishes

Should strikers score goals? Should goalkeepers stop shots? These are among the questions you didn't know were burning in the latest almost-live sound stylings of I Wish I Was A Geordie. In a never-before-heard podcast, the four gallants of gab also take up the significance of Shelvey, the tribulations of transfer, and the rumble of relegation. Plus: Phil continues his quest to complete an entire show without agreeing with anyone about anything. Click below to listen, or pop over to Stitcher for your own copy to cherish.

 

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On The Air: Not To Be Negative, But ...

What's about as rare as a Newcastle United win these days? An I Wish I Was A Geordie podcast! Three-quarters of the blog roster convene to toast NUFC's victory over Liverpool. Does it mean McClaren's ragtag band has turned a corner? Do they have what it takes to beat the drop? And why can't we escape the Alan Pardew hoodoo?

Click below to listen or visit Stitcher to download the episode to your device.

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