I Wish I Was A Geordie - The Blog of Newcastle United in the US

On The Air: The Boys Are Back

The boys of Newcastle United Football Club are back (barely) for another exciting (terrifying) Premier League season, and so are IWIWAG's four blustering bloggers with their 2015-'16 debut podcast. Hold on tight for eyewitness accounts of NUFC's summer sojourns to Milwaukee and Portland, followed by a comprehensive rundown of the club's hopes, dreams and dangers for the coming campaign. Is Colo-Mbemba too much of a Chancel? Can Gini be bottled? When is a striker not a striker? Plus: Butchering a nickname for Mitro. Click below to listen, or visit our Stitcher page for your very own download (refreshed iTunes page and link coming soon).

I Wish I Was A Geordie 2016-1

 

NUFC Has Burning Questions, And We've Got Answers

Somehow, the 2015-16 Premier League season is five days away. And as Newcastle United fans, that means we're filled with our usual wacky combination of excitement, dread, amusement and exasperation.

John Carver is out, Steve McClaren is in, Mike Ashley has splashed some cash and Gabriel Obertan is still on the roster. Look out Southampton!

Ahead of Sunday's big kickoff — and a few days before our highly-anticipated season preview podcast — our IWIWAG team answered a few of the questions surrounding the 2015-16 Magpies.

OK, so ... there is no other place to start a season preview. Are you excited for the new players?
Matt: After the listless displays which characterized the end of the Pardew/Carver era, who wouldn't be excited? NUFC desperately needed a new approach and a less complacent attitude from the top down, and hopefully a suite of players looking to prove themselves on the Premier League stage will provide some sort of spark.

Bob: Yes, but that's not saying much. For my money they could have sold everyone except Colback, Perez, Janmaat and Aarons.

Who are you most looking forward to seeing play?
Phil: Hands down, Aleksandar Mitrovic. The Serbian target man comes to Newcastle with an impressive goal scoring record on the field, paired with a reputation off the field as a character. Newcastle has been a collection of bland, completely uninteresting footballers devoid of charisma and personality (probably intentionally). Mitrovic's back story, highlighted in this excellent piece in True Faith, has me fixated on his every move.

Tom: Chancel Mbemba. Did you see Newcastle's center backs last season? If he comes anywhere close to the Vincent Kompany comparisons, we're all in for a treat.
(Editor's note: Matt and Bob both said Mbemba as well. How did none of us say Gini Wijnaldum?! His name is hard to spell ...)

Do you think Mike Ashley has lived up to his pledge from the Sky Sports interview?
Phil: No. Not even a little. I am overjoyed that the protests at St. James' Park forced the man to speak on the record, regardless of the softball questions. The last two seasons of NUFC soccer have been an affront to competitive sports with the club’s complete and utter lack of effort. The signings are a start, but ask me this question again when Ashley is authorizing signings to push Newcastle from the top 10, to top six, then again to the top four.

Matt: He's exceeded the (extremely low) expectations I had after hearing him make that pledge ... so I suppose that's something. Because there were so many holes in the squad going into the summer, it would have been quite the task to patch them all. If Ashley has one more eight-figure check in him before Sept. 1, he should add another center back instead of trying to pry Charlie Austin away from QPR.

What are your impressions of Steve McClaren so far?
Tom: For a guy who has banned swearing among the players, he sure likes to use the word "damn" in interviews. He's talked a good game so far, but I'll withhold judgment until November.

Matt: It's honestly too difficult for me to draw many firm conclusions based on the preseason friendlies. It is reassuring to see that he and Graham Carr appear to be in sync on the player acquisition side of things. The one improvement I have noticed in preseason is the players seem much more comfortable passing the ball in tight areas, a persistent weakness under Pardew.

Who do you think should be in the starting XI, and how would you line them up?
Phil: Krul; Haidara, Dummett, Mbemba, Janmaat; Aarons, Wijnaldum, Colback, Sissoko; Mitrovic, Perez

I would try a 4-4-2 diamond. Jack Colback at the base, GDub the tip. Aarons left and Sissoko right. Sissoko can help the transition from the defenders to the attackers with his superior dribbling skills and Aarons on the other side can provide crosses for Mitro.

Tom: Krul; Haidara, Coloccini, Mbemba, Janmaat; Colback; Perez, Wijnaldum, de Jong, Sissoko; Mitrovic

I'd start with a 4-1-4-1/4-2-3-1 hybrid, with Gini being the box-to-box central midfielder in front of and alongside Colback. Phil and I both think Dummett is underrated, but he's coming off an injury and won't be ready for the start of the season.

Matt: Krul; Haidara, Coloccini, Mbemba, Janmaat; Wijnaldum, Colback; Aarons, de Jong, Perez; Mitrovic

Moussa Sissoko does not start in my ideal lineup. He'd likely play a lot, though, given the injury histories of Aarons and de Jong. I originally had Mehdi Abeid in this XI instead of Colback. To me, his stellar performances as a holding midfielder last fall should have earned him an opportunity under McClaren. Instead, the new manager hung him out to dry in the reserves before reportedly shipping him to Fortuna Dusseldorf — a worrying sign.

Bob: Krul; Haidara, Coloccini, Mbemba, Janmaat; Colback; Aarons, Wijnaldum, de Jong, Perez; Berahino, I mean, Mitrovic

I don't know where to put Sissoko. Could he play left back? 

What is the best case scenario for the season?
Phil: As much as I want Newcastle to aim higher, I think the damage from the last two years has left the club with a whole heck of a lot to fix. I think if the Magpies can end the season in the top 10, that’s a good start for the McClaren-Carr era.

Tom: I can't envision a scenario in which Newcastle finishes higher than seventh, which would be an impressive achievement for McClaren in his first year. I think 10th is the safe bet.

Matt: If McClaren finds a set of players that fit his style, and he gets lucky with injuries and a couple fortuitous bounces, an eighth place finish is certainly within reach. And as we saw last year, the bottom half of the league is absolutely terrible, so 10th should be the club's realistic goal this season.

Bob: New boys work in fast, no losses in the winter window and a healthy Aarons and de Jong. That could bring us as high as a battle for seventh. There's a gap from there up to the traditional big clubs, and Swansea, who look stacked to me.

What are your thoughts heading into the new season? Post a comment or question below, and we'll address them in our season preview podcast, which will be posted online Friday morning.

Portland Trip Report: Shall We Chop A Tree For You?

On a practical level, it's difficult to argue that Tuesday night's 4-3 loss to the Portland Timbers reserves accomplished anything for Newcastle United. Steve McClaren's concerns about the artificial surface at Providence Park made the match useless even as a fitness-strengthening exercise. So why bother with it at all?

Honestly, the same could be said for the entire US tour from a preparation standpoint. The travel for the players and coaches was extreme. The matches, in various ways, didn't remotely resemble the Premier League conditions this squad will be contending with in a couple weeks. Splashy new striker signing Aleksandar Mitrović was left adrift as his new teammates toiled halfway around the world. For a club that normally toes a comically frugal line, the experience was oddly wasteful and unnecessary.

Yet from a fan's perspective, standing as part of a Toon Army in a stadium for literally the first time in my entire life, it was hard not to get wrapped up in the moment. It made me reflect on the very strange trip it's been over the past eight years, from the day I more or less picked a Premier League club to follow at random, to standing on the other side of the country, next to a best friend I hadn't even met in 2007, screaming and chanting until we went hoarse while watching a match that didn't even count.

About my friend: I think her experience as an honorary Geordie wannabe Tuesday night exemplifies what NUFC can be in the United States with a bit of effort. She absolutely loved it, reveling in the terrace songs and camaraderie just as much as I did. And even if she didn't already have some sympathy for the Toon because of me, I think she would have come away a fan. I suspect that at least some of the Timbers supporters may have developed an affinity for Newcastle for the same reason. (The ones who got the humor in our incessant mockery of them, at least.) Whatever the score, we had a lot of fun, and it's hard not to want to be a part of that.

While it's impossible to justify a tour like this on sporting grounds, it's also something that needed to happen to create some amount of goodwill. You can look back at this blog's history to see what happened over the last year. We lost interest, and justifiably so, after multiple directionless seasons. (Call it Ashleyitis.) And if it happened to us, it undoubtedly happened to many others in the States as well.

Now, I'm not naïve about the situation. There are still plenty of problems at NUFC, starting with the man who signs the checks. But for the first time in a long time, I felt proud to support this club on Tuesday. (Seriously! Even while watching our undermanned defense get smoked by the legendary Timbers 2.) I wonder how many others in attendance in Portland, and in Sacramento and Milwaukee, said the same thing.

NUFC Holding Open Training Session Monday In Milwaukee

For those members of the Toon Army who have made the trek to Milwaukee for Tuesday's U.S. tour opener against Club Atlas:

Arrived in Milwaukee 🇺🇸 #NUFC open training confirmed for 10am tomorrow (Monday) at @MarquetteU's Valley Fields. pic.twitter.com/wcYoyJS4vY

— Lee Marshall (@LeeMarshall9) July 12, 2015

For those unfamiliar with the area, Valley Fields are just off the interstate:

Unfortunately, due to work and life commitments, neither of our two Wisconsin-based IWIWAG contributors will be able to attend the training session. But friend of the blog Rob Moyer (@yanknufc) will be there salivating at every drill. We'll hope to see our fellow fans Tuesday afternoon at The Highbury Pub in Milwaukee's Bay View neighborhood — stop by if you're looking for a place to hang before heading over to the stadium.

And, of course, we'll see you in the Miller Park parking lot and in the stands. Toon Toon ...

NUFC Adds New Midfield Centerpiece In Wijnaldum

Mike Ashley's wallet is open, Lee Charnley is alive after all, and Georginio Wijnaldum is Newcastle United's first signing of the summer.

You've seen the figures. At nearly £14.4 million, "Gini" is the third most expensive signing in the club's history, and thus the priciest purchase of the Ashley era.

Whether Wijnaldum turns out to be the statement signing the club apparently believes he is — the type that will encourage other players to join —remains to be seen. But his arrival would seem to suggest that maybe Ashley's lofty words during his out-of-nowhere pregame interview on the last day of the season might actually carry some legitimacy.

As far as a first signing goes, Wijnaldum wouldn't have been a popular guess at the start of the summer, simply because of his position. Newcastle already had options in the center of the midfield, particularly compared to the gaping holes at striker and center back.

But Newcastle has been missing an alpha dog type in the midfield since Yohan Cabaye left for Paris — Moussa Sissoko has never truly staked his claim — and United struggled to control games in the center of the field as last season wore on. And then there's this simple line of thinking: When you're bad — and Newcastle was horrific in the second half of last season — you just need to add good players.

It's not totally clear where Wijnaldum will fit into Steve McClaren's lineup, since he can operate as a No. 10, as a box-to-box type or out wide. But the smart money would seem to be on the 24-year-old Dutchman taking a central role in some permutation of a 4-1-4-1/4-2-3-1 look, with Siem de Jong in an attacking spot, Jack Colback sitting deep and Sissoko pushing out wide right. (I feel compelled here to reiterate that Sissoko, assuming he's not sold, should play wide. He's just not technically good enough — at least consistently — to play in the tight spaces that No. 10s or central midfielders find themselves in.)

Newcastle still has major work to do. Considering Fabricio Coloccini's decline, you could argue the club doesn't have a legitimate Premier-League-starting-caliber center back on the roster. Papiss Cisse is the closest thing McClaren has to a capable center forward (and he's a) a poacher who can't really hold up the ball and b) a serious candidate to be sold). And Newcastle could probably stand to add another option on the wing.

But in Wijnaldum, United will hope it has the man to tie the rest of those pieces — whenever they arrive — together.

Reasons To Believe In Steve

I'll admit it: Steve McClaren wasn't my preferred choice for Newcastle United's new manager/head coach/guy in the firing line.

I may have even labelled him as "Alan Pardew 2.0" in an email to the rest of the IWIWAG team. That's probably harsh, considering McClaren's varied and fairly extensive resume.

I'm bothered that Newcastle seems to have once again settled for an out-of-work journeyman whose career seemingly needs United more than the club needs him.

I'm annoyed that Mike Ashley and Lee Charnley have made what feels like a safe, conservative hire at a time when the clubs could stand to chart a bold, new direction.

But I'm not totally down on this hire. Maybe it's the eternal optimist that lives under my sometimes-cynical exterior. Maybe I've been swayed by McClaren's early sound bites. Maybe I'm just happy to see Newcastle planning to sign some legitimate Premier League players.

Either way, there are a few reasons why I think the McClaren-Newcastle marriage might turn out to be decent (and decent rates as pretty good these days, right?). Here they are:

He seems to hold some sway at St. James'
The McClaren-to-Newcastle rumor had been out there since the moment Alan Pardew made his Selhurst Park escape. No one was surprised when Newcastle made it official.

The stunner was McClaren being appointed to an overhauled board. McClaren might not have the absolute power of a traditional English manager when it comes to personnel, but his influence should — key word there — be considerably greater than whatever clout Alan Pardew held (which wasn't much).

Let me be clear: Pardew should have been fired before he left on his own volition. He was no longer an effective manager in Newcastle's setup, with Newcastle's players. But it became increasingly hard to evaluate his ability because the club's hierarchy effectively neutered him. He had little say in the players at his disposal, and those players didn't appear to fit his playing style. Which brings us to reason No. 2 why McClaren might succeed ...

He might be able to work with Graham Carr
The Chronicle's Mark Douglas has reported on multiple occasions that the idea that McClaren and Carr, Newcastle's chief scout and transfer overlord, are best buddies has been overplayed. When Mark Douglas (or The Times' George Caulkin, for that matter) writes something, I pay attention.

That said, it sounds like McClaren and Carr at the very least get along, which should be an upgrade on the clearly dysfunctional relationship that festered during Pardew's reign. All too often, Carr delivered players who Pardew, in turn, neglected.

We could debate who takes what share of the blame for those failures, but that's not the point. Carr is, as Phil likes to say, the English soccer equivalent of an American sports general manager. He and the head coach need to be working off the same master plan. And McClaren sounds decidedly more comfortable with the partnership.

The club has (allegedly) seen the light on transfers
Yet another reason the McClaren-Carr pairing figures to work better: Mike Ashley has reportedly relented on the club's strict transfer policy. Finally, Newcastle might shell out some cash for players with Premier League experience.

Ashley's thinking on buying thrifty imports had some merits, but the club's rigid approach too often prevented it from landing players who could help immediately. And as the pressure cranked up during the second half of last season, too many of Newcastle's continental purchases looked bewildered.

Let's be clear: buying all British players isn't a magic bullet. But mixing in some players who know the league and its demands is always a positive.

He has faced similar pressure
Newcastle is an intensely unique club. What other team would draw 50,000 fans a week despite not having had a whiff of the Premier League title race since 1996?

While we all take issue with the distorted notion of the delusional Geordie, there's no denying the pressure that comes with such a zealous fan base. Pardew, for all his self-confidence and smooth talking, struggled to handle that stress — hence, the never-ending excuses, science being against him, etc.

McClaren may very well crumble under the burden as well. But he has a much larger bank of experiences from which to draw — the failure with England, testing himself in new countries — and he'll come into the job with a more nuanced idea of Newcastle's context as a club from his time at Middlesbrough and from living in the region. Those two factors could come in handy when dealing with the black-and-white craziness that's no doubt ahead.

Shhhhhhhhhhhh… eetveeeee

In the end, the "new era" of Mike Ashley looks set to begin with the appointment of Steve McClaren as the eighth permanent manager to take the helm of Newcastle United under our oxford-shirt-wearing overlord.

After a job search that spanned six months and generated more than 80 applications, managing director Lee Charley and chief scout Graham Carr will reportedly opt for the conservative candidate when McClaren's hire becomes official next week. While the former England manager's credentials aren't anything to sneeze at, his appointment feels like an opportunity missed. The Toon Army is desperate for a bolt of electricity and optimism. McClaren was not the hire to put fans back in their seats at St. James Park, or — on this side of the pond — make us eager to set those early morning alarm clocks.

Nevertheless, all cause for optimism is not lost. Here are a few things the former Derby County manager must fix from last season to inject some much needed "feel-goods" throughout the Newcastle nation:

Identify tactics that will bring out the most in the squad handed to him

McClaren knows what he's getting himself into in joining Newcastle United presented by SportsDirect.com. He will not have any control over personnel moves, despite an apparent "war chest" awaiting the 54-year-old. That job belongs to Carr, who is essentially a good-ol'-fashioned American-style general manager. Carr will select the players for McClaren to coach, just like in the States, where the GM controls the roster moves. There will be new players coming in (allegedly),  but McClaren's task will be to quickly decipher the strengths and weaknesses of the new personnel and formulate a game plan to get the best out of the squad assembled for him.

Rumor has it McClaren is an excellent coach — he's gotten praise from the likes of Phil Neville, and he was famously handpicked to be Sir Alex Ferguson's No. 2 at Manchester United. Lifted of the burden of player transactions, McClaren could excel concentrating solely on shaping the first team. 

The Englishman must be tactically flexble, and avoid the pitfalls of the previous regime — namely, jamming square pegs in round holes. Too many  times during Alan Pardew's reign, players were played out of position to fit Pardew's preferred formation. The tension between Carr and Pardew has been well-documented. Did the former manager select lineups in spite of the players Carr signed for Newcastle? Potentially. This cannot happen under McClaren.

For the club to go forward, the GM and coach need to be simpatico on player acquisition. The "head coach" needs to be creative with the talent he receives, and put his players in positions for team success.  

Sort out the back line and stop making me drink whiskey before noon

I'm not going out on a limb by saying Carr and McClaren need to first and foremost focus on rebuilding Newcastle from the back. Unquestionably, the backline was the area of the field that regressed most last season, allowing 63 goals — the second-highest number in the Premier League; only last-place QPR conceded more goals. Goalkeeper Tim Krul had a down year in both whoscored.com and eyeball analytics. To be fair, Krul was let down by a not tremendously fearsome foursome of center backs. In fact, the best performer of the group was a converted left back.

The stats for the backline are gruesome. They kept three clean sheets in 2015 (NUFC's only wins of the second half of the season) and conceded multiple goals in seven of their last 10 matches.  

There will probably be plenty of personnel movement on this side of the field during the offseason. Newcastle’s captain is in the twilight of his career, Mike Williamson should never see the field again for NUFC, and Steven Taylor cannot be trusted to stay healthy for more than a month. Players are needed at center back, and would anyone be shocked to see Tim Krul take his gloves elsewhere?

New defenders are coming in, and it would behoove McClaren to spend a little extra time on this side of the field in training. The quickest way up the Premier League table is to shut off the faucet that leaked goals last season.

My liver thanks you.

Start the season off strong to get the fans on his side

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The easiest way McClaren can get the Toon Army on his side is to simply win games. Well, duh, way to state the obvious; but nothing silences an angry, boycotting crowd better than a few early wins. For all the huff and puff about the Pardew era at St. James' Park (mostly by observers who didn't, well, observe Newcastle much during the final year of his reign), the man stopped winning matches. Last season, Pardew's NUFC  didn't win its first Premier league match until Oct. 18. 

We don't need a reminder of what happened last season, that is, unless we've surgically removed it from our memories. 

Get the best player on his side

Without debate, Moussa Sissoko is the most polarizing player currently employed in black and white. On his day, he can dominate a Premier League match with the Agueros, Rooneys and Hazards. However, more often than not, his play resembles more of the Cattermoles.

If Newcastle United's No. 7 came across a newspaper in between games of FIFA this offseason, he would have read a name he most assuredly idolized growing up linked with the Newcastle job. Alas, he wakes up with a manager who once faked a Dutch accent.

If McClaren is to have any success on Tyneside, he must unlock the powerful potential of Sissoko — and not only get Sissoko to play well, but play consistently well. Take a look at Sissoko's rating according to whoscored.com: his form all too often rises and falls like a ride at Great Adventure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seems simple enough. Newcastle needs its best player excelling week in and week out if the team is to have any success. The Magpies were 10-5-3 in matches where Sissoko earned a rating higher than 7. When the midfielder's form dipped, so did his team's. In matches Sissoko rated lower than a 7, the Toon was 2-11-4. Additionally, in matches Sissoko registered a goal or assist, NUFC was 4-1-2.

First order of business for the new man in charge should be to get Sissoko focused and motivated. Hopefully, with Euro 2016 on the horizon, there is a well-placed carrot to dangle in front of our powerful midfielder. 

The NUFC Fan Guide To Milwaukee

Last time Newcastle United came to the US, the two co-founders of this blog traveled more than 2,000 miles for matches in Kansas City and Columbus. This summer we won't travel at all, and not because we're boycotting (we softened our stance on that idea even before Jonas' thunderbastard and Mike Ashley at least trying to say something). It turns out NUFC is coming July 14 to our "home ground" - the fine city of Milwaukee in the pastoral state of Wisconsin. I'm a lifelong Milwaukeean, my original co-blogger Tom lives 80 miles away in the state capital of Madison, and our third addition Matt has come to visit from out east a couple of times as well (still waiting for Phil). Seeing as we're about as close to experts as NUFC fans get, here's our pocket guide to Milwaukee for Magpies.

Beer. Like Newcastle, Milwaukee is widely recognized for its beer - hence the name of the baseball club, the Brewers. Stemming from the town's German heritage, at one time all the major breweries in the US - Miller, Pabst, Schlitz, Blatz - were located here. (No, I didn't mention Budweiser. Once you're here you might not want to mention it either.) Only Miller still operates a large brewery in town, overlooking the baseball and occasional soccer stadium that bears its name. The departed mega-breweries have been supplanted joyfully by a host of small craft breweries that produce wonderful and often strong brew. We love our beer, especially before or after a game in the parking lots that sprawl between Miller Brewery and Miller Park - it's the oldest and best tailgate party scene in the US, and if you doubt it, come see for yourself. 

Pubs. Wisconsin has more taverns per capita than any other state, many of which offer a large array of taps (see Beer, above). Milwaukee alone has several thousand pubs for you to explore - land in town and walk in any direction until there's a pint in your hand. For the Newcastle fan we can recommend one bar in particular: Highbury Pub, a couple of miles south of downtown in the Bay View neighborhood, easily reached from the city center by car or bus. There are several well-known soccer pubs in the city, but Highbury is the rowdiest, which is why it's been adopted by the Magpie crowd, and vice versa. The place is owned by a Crystal Palace fan. Rest assured you'll receive a warm welcome from him and everyone else, as the couple-to-a-dozen of us who show up on matchdays are the life (and sometimes demise) of the party. We're often given the balcony level to ourselves, which we unofficially re-label St. James' Pub.

Beaches. Wait, isn't Milwaukee in the middle of the country? Yes, but thanks to its positioning on the shore of Lake Michigan, it's one of the most inland ocean ports on the planet. While the water quality can fluctuate with the currents, there's no salt, and the beaches can feel like Florida. Bradford Beach adjacent to downtown is the most popular, where the sand is dotted with - of course - bars, so you don't have to bring in your beer cooler or margarita fixings. Green bluffs, some of which are still wilderness, spill to the lakeshore up and down the length of the city, giving Milwaukee a natural beauty that belies its industrial reputation. The lake breezes mean we rarely have to endure the blast-furnace temperatures that plagued NUFC during the 2011 tour, though if the wind is blowing out to the lake at the wrong time we can suffer the odd heat wave. This shouldn't be an issue at the match, though - Miller Park has a retractable-dome roof and can be closed and cooled if necessary.

 

Culture. Ask an American outside Milwaukee about the city, and with perhaps a nod to our iconic winged art museum, you'll likely hear about the German stuff, beer and bratwurst. There's plenty of that, for sure: Some of the more toothsome brats in town are served at Miller Park, with sauerkraut and a secret barbecue sauce (better than it sounds). Modern Milwaukee, though, is as much Hispanic as European, with a massive
Mexican-American community that helps explain why this match is being scheduled and who NUFC will be playing. While Atlas may not be quite the draw Chivas was in a friendly here against Swansea last year, prepare to be outnumbered in the stadium - this is not likely to resemble the typical away match in England where the local fans are drowned out on TV by "Toon Toon, black-and-white army." The Latin spirit permeates the city in surprising and colorful ways, including Mexican food as authentic and delicious as any US locale, in taquerias dotting the urban landscape particularly on the south side of town not far from the ballpark. With its central location and moderate living expense the city has been a magnet for immigrants from all over the globe, and whatever ethnic group or cultural attraction you can't find here you'll find in Chicago, whose central Loop is less than a 90-minute zip away on the Amtrak Hiawatha commuter train - so close the exurbs of the two cities are beginning to blend into a single lakeside megalopolis.

How to get here: Milwaukee has a nice and relatively stress-free airport with sinking fares thanks to the arrival of US discount carrier Southwest and the resulting competition. If you can't find a good fare, try Chicago - you can reach Milwaukee from there by rental car, bus or train, but be prepared for the jumble of humanity that is O'Hare International. If you're making the trip by car from any direction other than northwest, add an hour or so for passing through Chicago unless you hit it in the middle of the night.

Where to stay: The historic luxury hotel downtown is the Pfister, and on the right date you can find deals there at sub-luxury prices. Marriott and Hilton have new hotels in renovated historic buildings downtown. A fun upscale option not too far from the stadium is the independent Iron Horse Hotel, adjacent to the headquarters and museum of Harley-Davidson, whose motorcycles emit a steady hum here in their native city. Most of the budget accommodation options are outside the city center, and there's not much hotel-wise or otherwise around the stadium, which lies about 50 blocks west of downtown. There's always Airbnb.

As a bonus, here's a guide to the other cities on the newly announced NUFC tour.

Portland: Hipsters.

Sacramento: Cows.

So come to Milwaukee, and we look forward to showing you a good time. Unless you're boycotting. Which we totally understand!

Inside Lee Charnley's Interrogation Room

From the Chronicle today:

United’s managing director Lee Charnley asked Carver three questions – could he handle the criticism, keep the team up and win back the dressing room. The head coach, who did not offer his resignation on Sunday or Monday, answered yes to all three and that satisfied the demands of Charnley, who is also under pressure after admitting to “mistakes” that have pushed Newcastle towards the brink of a relegation fight.

******

"Hey, John, do you think you suck as a manager?"

"No way! I'm doing an awesome job."

"Fair enough, then. Carry on."

What Does It Mean To Be A Newcastle Fan?

Last Thursday's post about whether to boycott Newcastle United's rumored summer trip to Dallas prompted spirited discussion on the blog and in other social media. We need to call it a rumored trip because the club has yet to confirm its participation in the Dallas tournament this July, or for that matter, the Premier League next season. Whoever is promoting the Dallas event couldn't be blamed for looking elsewhere after NUFC's mortifying performance at Leicester City on Saturday, the finger-pointing afterward and today's utterly absurd official statement that the club is "focused on our current situation." As opposed to...not being focused on it? Ignoring it, maybe? That they feel obligated to say they care is all you need to know.

The much-photographed banner in the away stand at Leicester - "We don't demand a team that wins, we demand a club that tries" - encapsulates last week's boycott debate here and the entire dilemma of being a Newcastle United fan at this low point in the club's long history. No one likes a glory hunter. Many of us in the United States who support Newcastle by choice rather than birth are making exactly that statement. Anyone can throw on a Man U shirt and brag. The fan who picks Newcastle wants to hope and dream and suffer and celebrate in a way that trophies alone can never embody. OK, maybe we didn't anticipate this much suffering. But true fans are willing to endure anything for at least the prospect of something greater.

Which of course is what's absent at Newcastle under Mike Ashley and his minions. If the aim isn't to triumph in the end, what's the suffering for? If the aim is profit over victory, isn't a fan played for a fool to contribute, regardless of whether Ashley feels the impact? To say a boycott wouldn't have any effect misses the point. The point is whether we can live with ourselves when we give money to this cause, to the slow undoing of the club itself.

That said, it's more disturbing and saddening to see American fans tweeting about finding another club than ignoring the current situation just because Newcastle United is coming to America. If you can go to Dallas and enjoy yourself in the face of all that's going on, better to do that than give up. Maybe we should all go to Big D as a form of defiance. Maybe we should do it as a giant middle digit to the current management. Maybe we should just not let Mike Ashley ruin our fun.

Because, in the end, Mike Ashley is not Newcastle United. He won't be in charge forever. Even at my somewhat advanced age I'm likely to see this tyranny pass, and owners take over who will at least want to succeed. When that happens I intend not to have burned my black-and-white-striped shirts. I intend to be chanting and quaffing and traveling all the more proudly in them, because I survived this nightmare. That's what being a fan means. Especially when you picked Newcastle United in the first place.